Friday 7 October 2016

Positivity

If you've read my previous blog posts, you might have noticed that I didn't seem in the most 'relaxed' way in previous months. I was suffering from anxiety terribly and it stopped me from doing things and seeing people I love. Luckily, I managed to pull myself together at the end of my first university year and came out with a grade I am very proud of as I could have done much much worse.

I'm currently into the first term of my second year at university and not to 'jinx' everything, but I'm loving it so far. I've built up such a positive attitude within myself that I've come to a point where I thought 'Why should I feel like rubbish every day, its not worth it', saying that to myself everyday for a few months generally did help my overall wellbeing and has gave me a better outlook on everyday life.

A couple of months ago doing simple tasks such as going out to town and spending some time with friends made me feel sick to my stomach with stress and anxiety that I would just cancel. I was scared to go out for a few drinks or to even walk to my local shop. However, my anxiety made me feel so secluded and left out by those that I cared about that I was beginning to make myself feel worse because I felt bad in general, does that make sense?

It's easier said than done to tell others, who may suffer with similar problems of anxiety, to 'adopt a new attitude' and 'just tell yourself no', because it is hard to do. But, by including small steps of telling yourself it will be okay to walk to the shop on your own or people aren't judging you behind your back, the more you tell yourself the truth the more you will believe yourself. I could sit and type all day about what others have said makes them feel better and I could google self help guidance and send it to people/look at it myself. The only person that your mind will believe the most is you, you have to believe that you will be okay and that it is okay to feel crappy at times, everyone does and it's natural.

I've had such an amazing month catching up with friends and learning new topics and strategies at university that in a good way I haven't thought or felt anxious. I'll admit, I have forced myself to wake up everyday in summer to push myself to do something to get myself in a routine and I'm glad I did. I now wake up on a morning with plans with my friends because I want to do it for me and me only and thats something I'm not afraid to say I'm proud of.

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Cocktails with friends at The Botanist - Manchester

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